Ridiculous: adjective:1. causing or worthy of ridicule; absurd; preposterous; laughable; 2. slang for unbelievably good, bad, crazy, etc.
This is the definition for “ridiculous” I found on dictionary.com. If you asked my friends and loved ones, however, they might define “ridiculous” as simply “Hayley.” No, no, don’t think they are mean or making fun of me (ok, they are totally making fun of me). They mean it with all the love in their hearts, and they completely embrace my ridiculous, often unreasonable nature, because it’s what makes me who I am, and I promise, they love me just the way I am. Let me explain.
Have you ever known someone whose grand plans, wild ideas, bleeding heart, or passion leads them into something which makes you think they are completely ridiculous or their situation or wild hare tale is totally ridiculous? They’re one of those people that always has a story to tell, and it always has a dramatic twist or over the top event that leaves you either in stitches or rolling your eyes or both. And yet, despite their constantly being in a state of hot mess, you just roll with it, because they just roll with it, and also, because, well that’s just <insert name of completely ridiculous person here> who they are, and to be honest, that’s why you like them. I am that person. Silly, lively, and known for dramatic storytelling, I am one of those people who finishes a story and hears, “Only you, Hayley.” I don’t mean to be conceited when I say people like me, because of this personality quirk of mine, but I am not crafty, hate to cook, am not exactly ladylike, and I talk way more than I should. Oh, and as a running buddy, I am sometimes super slow as if I were a turtle crawling through peanut butter. If you were super sick or in distress, I would think twice before offering to come clean your house, not because I don’t love my friends, but because I hate to clean. So you see, if I we’re looking at a checklist of what makes a person awesome, I am not winning any awards here, so I am left to assume that my friends love me, because I am completely, totally ridiculous, and I am completely, totally ok with it.
Here is a brief list of some of the ridiculous, wack-a-doodle events of my life and traits of my personality:
1. I flushed my cell phone down the toilet. Not dropped it in…it was swirling around that germy whirlpool like a cow in a Texas Tornado. (Ok, so it didn’t go ALL the way down, but that sounds better than “almost” flushed it down.)
2. When I broke my foot, I was a bridesmaid in a boot…who rode down the aisle in my dress on a knee scooter. No, really, I rolled down the aisle of a large church at a wedding looking like a glammed out Punky Brewster having a grown-up playdate.
3. I went to a bachelorette party on the afore mentioned scooter, and when the handicapped ramp to where we headed suddenly ended, did I back out of the bachelorette party? Nope. I let the other bridesmaids carry my scooter, and I crawled down two flights of stairs to make it to our destination. You’ve got to fight for your right to party, ya’ll.
4. Whenever I see people from the gym in public I say really awkward things like, “Oh, hey! I’ve never seen you with clothes on before!” when what I really mean is “I’ve never seen you with something other then gym clothes on before.”
5. I trip over things way more than any normal person should. I spill, break, and drop things a lot, too.
6. I adopted a one-eyed dog, and I named her Lizzy…Left Eye Lizzy.
Wait, what? Back up to #6. I did what? This is where if you don’t know me well, you might be saying, “No, she didn’t.” This is where if you do know me well, you’re saying, “Of course, she did.”
Here she is…Miss America…
Everyone say it together now, “Awwwww…”
And now, if you know me well, roll your eyes and laugh, because who else do you know would be waiting at the shelter door an hour before opening time to adopt a one-eyed dog? Only your ridiculous Hayley.
Lizzy, formerly Ruby, was at a local animal shelter, and when I saw her pic on Facebook, my heart just broke at the thought of her not being adopted just because she isn’t “perfect.” I am an animal lover as well as a lover of all things which are different, broken, imperfect, or any “type” society views as less. My heart bleeds for pitiful animals, outcast children, unloved adults, and the freaks and geeks of the world. I can’t help it. I don’t say that to put myself on a pedestal…I say it, because that’s just me. My heart absolutely aches for all of God’s creatures, humans and critters alike, who are so different that they just can’t understand that they are “fearfully, wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) just the way God intended them to be. I want to fix all their hurts…find them all friends to play with, partners to love them, or forever homes with never ending belly rubs and squeaky toys. That’s how I ended up with Lizzy. It’s not her fault she is missing an eye. (She came to the shelter an injured stray and had to have her eye removed immediately.) I just couldn’t bear the thought of people pitying her…then passing her by.
And here’s the thing, ya’ll. I need another dog like a hole in my head. Riley is a total spaz attack. (He’s ridiculous like his momma). He and I are always getting ourselves into some hot mess around this place, and it always results in some ridiculous tale. Everyone has been telling me WAIT to get another dog. JUST WAIT, they say. I was ready to “just wait,” and everyone was relieved that I was being reasonable for once…until Lizzy. When I started sending Lizzy’s pic out to friends and telling her story, everyone’s tune changed. My friends know me well. They know my heart. They know my stubborn nature. And they knew, even before I had made up my mind, that Lizzy would be coming home with me. They just knew. Who else do they know that would do something so ridiculous? “Hayley’s adopting a one eyed dog? Of course, she is.”
And so, where there were once two in this house, there are now three. Hayley, Riley, and our sweet little Left Eye Lizzy. Ridiculous, ya’ll. I have lost my mind. Oh, and my heart. This little mutt stole it. The best part of all of this has been the reaction of my friends and family. My parents both encouraged me to take her. My friends have laughed at me and swooned over her. My FB post received numerous likes and lots of comments about Lizzy’s sweet little face. I have enjoyed all of the loving comments, but my favorite words I have heard and read over and over from my loved ones are these, “I love her already.” Riley and I do, too. Welcome to our family, Lizzy. We think you’re perfect.
Hayley and Riley (the new big brother)